Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Raw(e) Distractions

Sami over at Sailor & Company issued a challenge.  I like challenges. The challenge?  Post an unedited picture related to the theme.  This week's theme?  Distractions.

I am distracted by this beautiful girl, this fun loving, sparkly eyed gorgeous young lady.  She doesn't look like this anymore.  Physically she looks like this but the sparkle is gone, the life in her eyes is gone; she has replaced it with anger, bitterness, resentment and dishonor.

She doesn't live here anymore.  7 months ago she ran away from us.  I am distracted by her absence quite often.  What is she doing?  What are her friends like?  Is my mother (who she lives with now) giving her rules and boundaries that will help her to grow or is she feeding into Rush's selfishness and demanding ways?  Does she really think she is happy? Does she realize what she has left behind?  Does she regret her decisions?

Does she miss God?  Does she feel the void? Does she really hate us, the way she treats us?  Does she realize how many people she has hurt? Does she think about what she has done to her brother and sister? 

Will we ever be able to laugh the way we once did?  Eat Chocolate Explosion together or share Cactus Cuts?  Will we go together to pick out her grad dress or her wedding dress? 

Distracted.

She leaves me distracted.

8 comments:

  1. praying your baby girl comes home soon. this is my worse fear. i am glad she is with someone you know

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  2. How old is she? I turned my back on the Father and my parents. For years. I made severely poor choices.
    I came back.
    God uses every mistake I ever made.
    She is beautiful. Keep trusting in the the Lord. He has not forgotten her. He will leave the 99 just to find her.

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  3. That brought tears to my eyes. My girls are still young. I pray I never go through anything like that, and that your daughter will come back to you soon!

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  4. Oh...tears for you again. And prayers...prayers that she will one day see that you were trying to be a good mother...that her resentment and bitterness will fade.

    Lot's of hugs...

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  5. Once again, you wonderful ladies leave me crying tears of thankfulness for the group of ladies God has connected me with through the blogging world. I am so blessed to have readers, no, friends like you all.

    Pam, I almost wish she wasn't with my mom; my mom gives everything to her on a silver platter and feeds right into her selfishness. Part of me wants her decision to leave to cost her something. She should be having to face her consequences not be rewarded for them. Does that make me awful?

    Sami, she is 16 years old and I know she has enough of the word in her to one day realize. Thank you for your words of faith. I know that God will go after her. I pray for her stubbornness and pride to be stripped from her that she will allow herself to hear Him.

    Tutu, I pray you never have to go through this too. It has been the hardest thing I have faced, so far, in my life.

    Mama M... :D Thank you.

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  6. WOW. As I'm reading your post I can totally imagine my oldest doing the same thing. She's only 8 now but I could see her running away to live with Grammy. We clash all the time. I always wish I could let my children learn from my mistakes without making any of their own... but they almost never do and it's so hard.
    My husband walked away from our faith about two years ago, and I believe that God is faithful to bring back His children, even if He lets them wander away for a while. And that there is some reason behind it.
    It's hard to see the reason for God being that way, it's hard to believe that this could in any way turn out to be a good thing, but I believe God will redeem it, and will redeem this horrible season for you, somehow.
    My brother also comitted suicide when he was the same age as your daughter. At least there is still hope for you to one day have a life with her, my mom is left without even that.

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  7. i was just thinking about her today. don't lose hope!!
    praying for you all! :)

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  8. Faith, wow. I am so sorry to hear about your brother and yes, at least I have hope.

    Brooke lynn I am really moved and honored that you were thinking of this situation today. Thank you so much for all your prayers and encouragement!

    I've said it before you guys rock!

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