Thursday, March 18, 2010

Totally Gross

story to share with you all. you know, 'cuz I'm uber sweet like that.

I am shuddering just thinking about it again - shuddering, convulsing and heebyjeebying just to share this with you.

Oh the things I do... (just kidding)

Ok, here is the story, as told to me by my very good friend Pam.

She & her husband know of a lady who had a Boa Constricter (the story is gross all ready). She loved her snake a lot and since she was a single lady she had this creature sleep with her at night. {Seriously!? Who does this!?) I mean, why? To keep her company? To make her feel safe? What? I mean I love all God's creatures but some are best loved a little farther away than others, right?

So, this Boa Constricter would lay, stretched out lengthwise, next to his loving owner. He stopped eating. No matter what the lady gave him, he.would.not.eat. She was worried about him, thinking he was sick. {Does anyone have any idea where this is going yet?} She took him to the vet and explained the situation. It came up in the conversation that this thing slept with her - stretched out alongside her from her head to her feet. The vet told her that she needed to get the snake out of her bed and locked in his terrarium and

to

not

sleep

with

him

EVER

AGAIN!

Anyone want to guess why?

Anyone want to guess why that snake was not eating?

Does anyone know why he would sleep stretched out beside her the way he did?

Does anyone know if there is a relation between these two seemingly unrelated points?

The reason the vet told her, with such urgency, to get that thing back in his terrarium was because he was preparing to EAT. HER!!!!! {This is where I lost.it when the story was being told to me.} He would lay stretched out beside her to make sure she was the "right size" and he was starving himself in order to prepare his body for this feast!

I can't even go on!

You can thank me all for telling you that story later, after your stomachs have stopped turning and the hair on your body has quit standing on end; I mean, after all, I HAVE to be an extremely generous person to share something so. absolutely. disgusting. with you all. Right?

See, my fears about the "killer lizard" from this post don't seem so unwarranted now, do they? {grin}

1 comment:

  1. GET! OUT! OF! TOWN!

    UH...I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DIDN'T THINK OF THAT. SERIOUSLY. GROSS.

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