Monday, November 8, 2010

What are we teaching our daughters?

The other day my little, what's remaining at home, family went out for supper at a local fast food restaurant {shocking I know but yes, sometimes we do eat fast food at this house - because, well, there are times we are lazy or run out of time or because we just want to. The end.  GRIN}.

Anyway, I have barely begun my story and have all ready digressed.  {clearing throat, "Let's continue"}
So we are sitting at our little table eating our salad (yesireebob and it wasn't me eating it!), our baked potato and honey bbq boneless wings and our burgers & fries when a mom at a table near us begins to talk to her husband about her, at the moment, unseen daughter.  She is talking about this daughter's ex-boyfriend and her newest boyfriend and the entire time I am expecting to see some 19 year old girl stand up when they go to leave, judging by the conversation and the things this woman states about the relationships.

As they get up to leave, the child, yes, child, is about 12 years old!!!!

What are we saying to our daughters by encouraging them to have boyfriends and how to nastily treat their ex-boyfriends at the sweet, tender age of 12? I honestly do not understand the motivation or desire behind that.  My youngest daughter will be 10 in 3 weeks, 2 years younger than this girl and I can not imagine Jellybean living the life this young girl has.

I find it so sad and yet, I find it explains so much.  Why do we have so many teen moms?  Because if they date, kiss, hold hands, etc and have ex-boyfriends at 12 years old by the time they are 16 they have "been there done that" and are tired of it, looking for newness and... hello! Baby makes 2 and another ex-boyfriend to manipulate, degrade, humilate and flaunt in front of.

Not my daughter! Not the one I have any say in raising. My daughters did not have boyfriends for the sake of having a boyfriend, for the sake of peer acceptance, for the sake of noteriety or, what seems the case of the above mom, a mom living vicariously through the life of her pre-teenager. I have chosen, pledged and covenented (can you conjugate that? because it looks silly right now) to care about the path my daughters choose, to keep them set apart, to raise the standard and to do my utmost to bring them up with different standards for their life.

Let us make it more than a thing of the past to have a 12 year old who has not experienced more "life" than previous generations did by the age of 30. I don't plan to shelter my daughter but I do plan to raise her up with differenent standards and goals for her life...


  1. So true. Love the "been there done that" comment. But, my oldest dd is only 5. So... how I will manage to keep her from or get her to choose not to have boyfriends at an early age I already know will be a challenge for me. God grant me parenting wisdom each and every day!

  2. Exactly, it is through godly wisdom, strength, teaching our daughters to honor Him, us and themselves right from the get-go. Oh that we, as parents can now get together and encourage each other, help each other, guide each other and use each other as sounding boards...

  3. So gross! So sad to see a mother encourage this!