Illeminum. What? You've never heard that word?

"Tomorrow is Thursday, October 1, 2009. What? I otta know. I AM an illeminum baby!"

Jellybean is right; she is an illeminum baby. I just think maybe, it is slightly possible that she may have meant to say millenium. Perhaps...

Not that I'm trying to correct her or anything; just sayin'...

{Grin}

Let's Review

When I started this blog a couple of months ago, I didn't know the magnitude of what I was beginning to deal with, and I didn't know how personal I wanted to get. As the blog has prgressed I have begun to add pictures and more non-parental struggle type posts.

Two posts ago I was all like this is ridiculous! My kids have names - and in this case nicknames and I hate how formal the whole DS or DD insert number here thing sounded. From the beginning I hated that about this blog. And so, on that post I decided to call my children by "name", instead of by number, making them sound like inmates or something.

Please allow me to re-introduce my family to you and give you some names to the faces I previously referred to as numbers. Sheesh!


LilB lives down in Kansas City, Mo, was married but is going through a divorce right now as his wife decided perhaps she wasn't ready to settle down to one guy - after 3 years of marriage. Now don't get me wrong, there are always two sides to every story and there are to this as well - it just so happens that her part of the story was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.


P.B.&J. Our oldest daughter and her husband. She graduated last May getting her L.P.N and he is a welder. (They are also caring for our 16 year old.) These two are high school sweethearts and so completely cute together.



Rush, our 16 year old on the lamb. Well, not really but yes. She is in a period of her life where she is her only focus and only concern - but, that being said, we know that eventually she will hit the age we all did and she'll be like WOW I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW ALL THE THINGS I THOUGHT I DID - PERHAPS MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT. But that isn't all she is; she isn't just the Runaway. She is my firstborn; she aspires to become a nurse, is excellent with children and is a great musician when she puts her mind to it.



Tuff is our skateboarder; he has loved it since, well, forever. He is Bug's hero and has a heart the size of Texas.



This picture of BabyK was taken 3 years ago; she is far more grown up and just as beautiful than when this picture was taken. She is an incredible girl and has a sense of humor that sometimes leaves her dad's head spinning. take her most recent Facebook status: BabyK agrees to disagree that it is agreeable to agree on the subject of disagreeing to agree to disagree.


Jellybean is our "almost" 9 year old with the wisdom of a 89 year old. Her heart is soft and kind and loving and she will love you as much as you love her within minutes of meeting each other.



Bug, the "man" of the house when daddy is gone. He is lover of all things creepy, crawly, soft, snuggly, of all things Batman and Spiderman and secret agent; he is also a very intense, passionate young man who will give you the shirt off his back to help you out

Heart Update

Last week I let you readers in on a little health scare we had for Tuff (formerly known as DS2- those names just seemed so impersonal so I am bringing in their nicknames here).

I am thrilled to bring you this update from the Internal Specialist. Tuff has a perfectly normal 15-year-old-boy ECG. He speculated that the Nurse Practitioner has not had much experience reading 15-year-old ECGs (meaning of course of a 15 year old and not having been done 15 years ago. Grin) as they tend to be "louder" than the ECGs they would see from people with say 45 years of BigMac, soft drink, lack of exercise fat around their hearts which would "quiet" them. His atrium is NOT enlarged and Dr. A fully believes that Tuff has simply "hurt" a few of his chest muscles by doing some of the goofy things that 15 year old boys do, say if there are pretty girls around and he happens to be doing chin-ups or some other "boy" exercise.

He has been given the green light to go back to his regular routine with the exception of not doing anything that would use his chest muscles - push-ups, weightlifting, etc. Tuff is very "stoked" - ahem - to be able to dust off his skateboard and carry on in his usual manner of emulating Tony Hawk.

He will be going back for a Stress Test just to be on the "safe side".

So, Tuff has enjoyed a week of being able to Ollie, do kick flips and whatever other things you can do with a skateboard, and he has been able to get back to work and earn himself some spending money. He is a happy guy...

(picture from last winter.)

I'll Never Let You Go, Jack!

Ok, I heard that quote come innocently from Bug's (formerly known as DS3) lips today on a little "Mother/Son" walk we took this afternoon.



He has never seen the movie and it took all the strength I could muster to not laugh when he uttered those very words.

What on earth would possess Bug to utter those words?

I am so glad you asked or the story would end here and it wouldn't be all that funny now would it?

Bug found a ladybug and every ladybug Bug meets is a boy; he called this ladybug Jack. (Does anyone else sense the foreshadowing here?)



Blogger peeps, meet Jack. Blogger peeps notice how much love for this little insect my son all ready has.

Jack blew off Bug's hand and onto the sidewalk. Ever. so. gently Bug picked Jack off the sidewalk and placed him back in the safety of his care.

He then softly whispered, "I'll never let you go, Jack."



We got Jack safely to our house and he fell off Bug's hand into the tall grass by the fence; we dug around a bit and found him again, and off we were to put him in the plants beside the house (because this would mean that Jack would stay with us forever and ever).



One last time Jack fell from Bug's hand on their way to his new home and that, my friends, is when the tragedy occurred.

Bug

stepped

on

Jack!

I am not even kidding!

He was heartbroken! Seriously heartbroken! From behind me came a sad,distraught even, voice that was very, very small as it said, "Mama, I stepped on Jack."

Sure enough.

Jack.

is.

gone.


R.I.P little buddy; I told Bug you would know it was just an accident so if you are holding a grudge, let's keep it on the downlow, ok?

P.S. I don't think we should be naming any more pets Jack. Nothing against the name; it just seems Jack's don't do very well in the environment we have going on here.

Jesus? Is that you, Jesus?

Driving to the church the other morning, we had the sun shining brightly in our windshield - fully blinding all of us who had not brought our sunglasses with us.

DS3, from the backseat, asked us if that was Jesus. Yep, here's how that circular conversation went.

Him: Um, is dat Jesus up ahead of us?

Us: No, that's the sun.

Him: Well, Jesus is the son.

Us: Yes, honey, He is the son but that is the sun; you know that makes daylight...?

Him: But Jesus is the Light.

Us: You're right; He is the Light but that is the sun s.u.n. not s.o.n. Jesus is the s.o.n. and that is the s.u.n. - the ball of burning gas that keeps us warm and makes the world light...

Him: So...that's Jesus....

Um, yea, ok, it's Jesus! {Grin} He was so adamant that it was Jesus and, although a bit frustrating, it was uber cute!

The Factory is Closed

"Mommy?" came a soft sweet voice from the backseat of my car (which, by the way, is nearing 300,000 km on the odometer! Yikes!). "You 'fink' you will be 'prayngenant' soon?"

Yep, that came from my 6 year old DS3 yesterday on our way to pick up his sister from school. I didn't really know how to respond to him - you see I had 3 c-sections and my DH wanted me to get a tubal after DS3 was born; I agreed but always wished that I hadn't. I do want another baby - but do I want one because I truly want one or do I want one because I can't have one? I think I truly want another but, as I told DS3, that is totally up to God now.

I do get slightly jealous when people I know are pregnant and sad when people ask me, due to my slight excess poundage in the tummy area if I am pregnant. I feel those pangs of baby pain that are not supressed with being able to hold someone else's baby and giving it back.

But what's a girl to do? The factory has been shut down and it is all up to God. I know it has happened before so, if He wants me to have another baby, He is just going to have to open that factory up Himself (He can do it - my God can move mountains. What's a couple of tiny little clamps?)

Where DS3's thought process came from, I don't know. But I sure do love the way he said 'pregnant'; I just hope I spelled his way right. Prayngenant? Payengenant? Preynganant? I dunno.

What I do know is kids are pretty darn cute and one day I will get my butt in gear and get his Son vs Sun story on here.

Without warning

We got a call that DS2 has been having all sorts of severe chest pain the last while. (Gee, thanks for letting us know but that is besides the point.) He was taken to see the Nurse Practitioner at their hometown to see what was going on. Two weeks later she is finally able to read the results and he has an enlarged atrium.

DS2 is my step-son and he lives with his mom about 2 hours away from here (near where DD2 moved to). This means we don't really have any information as to what could have caused this enlarged atrium or what is involved in the care of said problem. It is a little scary not knowing and having no idea what to expect.

His appointment with the Internalist was scheduled for Oct 2 but thanks to a cancellation the doctor's receptionist got him in for tomorrow at 10.

My husband is several hours away from home working and will not be able to make it back for the appointment. I will be going in his place. His ex-wife and I do get along although i do get frustrated as to how little effort she spends in trying to keep us informed.

I am not freaking out about this appointment or his health; i know it will all work out, and, in the grand scheme of things, this is small potatoes to what some people go through with their children. I am just really looking forward to getting this appointment over so we can know what could have brought this one so suddenly (he is 15 years old) and what can be done medically for him - I know what can be done for him spiritually so please offer up a prayer for my son when you think of him...

From that teeny little speck of consciousness

I had early this morning, a panicked and very devestated little voice came running down the hallway screaming, "He died! Jack died! Jack's gone, Mom! He died! He's dead!

As I pealed my eyes open and adjusted their focus I found my dear, sweet, kind-hearted DS3 holding a tiny orange and white fish in his outstretched hands with huge tears pouring from his eyes.

"Mama," he said in a soft, sorrowful voice, "Jack died...he was stuck to dat fing that hangs down in da tank. My Jack is gone..."

This is quite the load of emotion to wake up to first thing for a young man of 6 years old who has never had a pet die before. Sure, he as seen several of his sisters fish die, even a snail but, he has never experienced the pain of his own pet, who he named, who he fed and who he loved, die.

I could look into his beautiful blue eyes and see his poor little heartbreaking right before my eyes. His sensitive heart...

So, I climbed out of bed, gathered the two kids and I in the official fish burial center, thinking we had better get it from out of his hands before we did too much more. DS3 got to say a few words about his wonderful fish friend, Jack.

Allow me, then, to share Jack, the fish we have had since Saturday who DS3 had fallen madly in love with, through DS3's eyes: Jack was a friendly fish and he made all the other fish his friends. He missed his other fish friends from the petstore but he was very happy in his new home. He loved to swim in the bubble wall and ride the bubbles all the way to the top, and I loved him so very much.

We then flushed our dear friend, Jack and waved saying our goodbyes as we gave Jack a proper sea(?) burial. I then spoke to DS3 about the realities of death and how sometimes these things happen, accidents will happen, pets & people will get sick and sometimes die. I told him how its ok for him to be sad for a while and very ok for him to miss Jack and I told him how this is an example of a time when we can truly turn to God for comfort. God can help us to not feel sad about Jack anymore - not that we have to forget about him but that it is not healthy for us to stay sad for a very long time, how there is a season for sadness just like there is a season for winter and it seems harsh, hard, cold and dark but then it comes spring and new life comes popping out and it becomes bright and cheery and warm and the leaves start to come out and bring people hope. He seemed ok after that, a little more calm, but then I told him that I would share Herman, my fish, with him - not that Herman can ever replace Jack in his heart but so that he can still help take care of the fish, I will make him co-owner...

So, here's to you, Jack


You WERE a good fish and you had an owner who loved you more than you could ever comrehend.

Very thankful for Thanksgiving

I got an email from DD2 a couple days ago asking if she could come home (my word not hers) for a visit Thanksgiving weekend.

Um...duh, can you? And what shall we make? What do you want? Turkey? Mashed potatoes? Pie? I'll make what you want! I can't tell her that though; I don't want her to think that she can just come back whenever she wants and walk all over us. We still need to be her parents and have the same rules and not let her dictate to us how we live when she is here.

I am just so happy that she initiated a conversation and asked if she could come for the weekend! "So happy", by the way, being an incredible understatement! I have NO words to describe this feeling accurately or adequately.

So, here I sit on the chocolate colored leather furniture of the waiting area for parents of children in music lessons, listening to DD4's sweet voice floating down the hallway, asking her teacher questions from one side of the room, and from the other flows the rich, smooth jazz sounds from the studio's owner - such a contrast in knowledge and ability yet not in love nor appreciation. And as I sit, I hover. I feel like a humming bird - just hovering - excited, anioux & nervous to see my girl.

Do I hug her right away? If I do, I may not let her go. Do I allow the tears to fall, the tears that warm and sting my eyes now just thinking about it? Do I wait for her to come to me? I feel just as unsure of myself and of what to do as the first time I kissed a boy. Eyes open? Eyes shut? Which way do I tilt my head? Will our braces really get stuck? C'mon, y'all know what I am talking about. Don't pretend like you don't.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest - feeling like that humming bird again.

I'm really glad that I live in Canada; I only need to wait until the weekend of Oct 10-12 to see her.

And, if I have 4 ripe bananas for her, she has offered to make us banana chocolate chip muffins like she learned in Cooking.

P.S. She got 81% on a History exam that a good deal of her classmates failed → she may make foolish decisions from time to time (you know, like leaving home) but she is a very smart cookie!

***This was written on a scrap piece of paper from my bag last night at music lessons for DD4 and DS3.

With this ring...

Take a gander at some of the pictures of the wedding when I wasn't focused on decorations...they looked great. My sistah, looked absolutely stunning and now, they sit in Hawaii, on a beach, soaking up the sun, loving being in love. Yay for them!

My sistah and I; I love her SO. SO much!


An emotional and touching moment in the speeches from the groom's dad. There was so much love at this wedding. The best man loves his best friend so much and it shone through his speech in the form of raw emotion. It was such a pure, absolute love. The speeches were wonderful! None as emotional as the one given by my nephew at last week's wedding but still...


A moment of sisterly love captured. No, they are not biological sisters but I think they are closer than any two sisters I have ever met. They lived together for years and are closer sisters than my own sister and I are (sadly).



At the ceremony. Aren't they a beautiful couple?!? Do I seriously have to wait a couple years in order to see how adorable their kids are going to be?


Piano man...drummer, guitar player, singer....seriously, this guy can play them all and is GOOD at all of them! He sang and played as Beka walked down the aisle. A very, very talented man. (At the rehearsal the night before he sounded a lot like Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer as he was fooling around at the keyboard, making up lyrics with us as his inspiration - a lot of fun!

The stress is over...the decorating is done and it was all a hit

I never got any great pictures of the decorations I did - but I did get pictures. The bride and groom and their families LOVED them, and that is all that is important to me. It sounds like the other guests found them to be lovely as well, so, whew, I am back to breathing again.

Breathing is good!

Here are they invitations I made. There is gold embossing on the front, finished off with black ribbon and a bit of distressing along the edge - ok, a lot of distressing.




Ignore the bride and groom in this picture as it isn't a good shot of them at all but it was a good shot of the front of the head table. White lights, organza and gold sash.


A nice shot of the aisle complete with gold carpet for the lovely bride to walk up, lined with rose petals and the gold, lighted archway for them to stand beneath.



Headtable center piece. I wanted so much to incorporate chess into the headtable, as our bride and groom were engaged over a chess game but I didn't know how to do it without it looking out of place. In these two side vases, with the candles in them, I lined the bottom with polished river rocks and put a king chess piece into one and a queen chess in the other. I wasn't sure if they would notice but it was the first thing that caught their eye! (Whew!) In the middle vase I found some beautiful willow type branches with blossoms on them, added some river rocks. I wanted to go for simple but elegant (with a slight asian flair for the bride).



Guest table center pieces. I found some beautiful decorative glass bowls (on sale for $3.00!), filled the bottom with river rocks, added a cute little goldfish and topped it off with a floating candle. I then set it on layered brown and gold napkins and sprinkled rose petals around the base. Guests from each table took the fish and bowl home - closest birthday to the wedding day since it was the groom's birthday we wanted to honor birthdays. I only ended up with three homeless fish who now live with us and are happy in their new home with their new names (Rosie, Jack and Herman) given to them by DD4 and DS3.



Just a shot of one of the tables.

Ssssshhhh....

It's going to be pretty quiet here the next couple of days but I promise to return Monday and fill you in on all things wedding from this weekend and, maybe show you some pictures of the decorating I did.

Hopefully it all turns out!

See you soon, friends

Just made my son cry

but...

...he made me cry first so it's, like, fair and all that junk.

Ok, so maybe it's not fair but it really did happen.

At the supper table he told us how he told his 6 year old buddies, in a joking way, that it was his turn to run away next. He said "But mama, you know I was just joking."

It was too late; I was all ready sobbing and he couldn't look at me because of how poorly he felt that his words had made me cry.

So there we sat, him not able to look at me and trying to stop crying, and me trying to stop crying and trying to let him know I wasn't upset at him and that he had just caught me off guard.

Just so you all know, we worked it all out {grin}; he tickled me until it hurt and he went away happy. The End

The end?

DD4 brought her homework to me, needing my help with homonyms for the words "red" and "daze".

First up "red".
DD4: I can't think of any homonyms for these two words. What sounds the same as "red".

Me: Well, when you are done reading a book you say "I...?"

DD4: The end?

An Armful of ♥

This young man


Yes, this young man


Found out a year ago that his dad was marrying a wonderful lady. He asked if he would be able to make a speech at the wedding when they had it.

The speech brought the house down in a pool of tears - everyone.



He started off by telling everyone how happy Ash made his dad and how he could see how much happier his dad was. He then told us how happy Ash made him and his little brother, how she plays with them and camps with them and how she has been such a great mom to them.

He then retold a story his Papa (my step-dad) had told him about my brother when he was young.



My brother was helping Papa move tin; he decided to hold it in his arms while driving a dirtbike...

I think I need to interject for a moment to add a bit of foreshadowing...it was not for lack of a better nickname that Papa called my brother Bruiser...let's carry on.

...my brother {Bruiser} hit a granery with his dirtbike (and the armful of tin) and moved the granery 6 inches! Ser-i-ous-ly!

Benny (my nephew's nickname and oddly enough, totally unrelated to his actualy name; I don't remember how he got to be called Benny)then turns to his dad sitting at the headtable (all ready bawling) and says "Dad I bet that's what it felt like when you fell in love with Ash, only instead of tin you had an armful of heart."

He wrote this when he was 9 years old, totally by himself. It was so eloquently written and he was smooth when he delivered it. He wasn't visibly nervous - he sounded like liquid chocolate, smooth.

The speech was complete when DeeDee said, in his cute 6 year old voice, "We love you Daddy an' Ash!"



It was way more emotional than it reads on here; I have not done it justice at all! I wish I would have thought to video it...that would have been perfect!

But this young man...these young men

did an outstanding job of the speech that no one felt adequate to follow and that left my brother looking like this...


{And how about those adorable flower girls? Are they cute or what? I had never met them before but they are Ash's neices. Cute! Cute! And more CUTE!}

Here's to having an armful of ♥

Goin' to the chapel and we're...

gonna get married... but should be titled "sorry for this long post with so many pictures of someone elses wedding"

This weekend was wedding weekend #1 and the one I looked forward to the most; my baby brother (who thinks he's my big brother) got married to one terrific lady.

Why so excited? Well, you see, my brother was married once before, to a lady that always had to pick a fight with him and belittle him and eventually left him to care for their two boys. Now don't get me wrong; he was not faultless in his first marriage but she decided to cheat on him and eventually leave him with the boys (just like what happened to our dad - he was left to raise us).

Anyway, my new sister-in-law took those boys in like there was no doubt that they were hers. My brother has never looked happier or healthier and neither have my two nephews. I love her to pieces for this and because she is an overall great lady.

My brother is one of my best friends - aside from my dad he is the first one I call. About anything.

A few pictures from the day.

My super fly nephew looking like he belongs in a jazz band (ironically enough he began trumpet lessons this year)


My dashing brother walking down the aisle to await his bea-u-ti-ful bride.


The kiss...


My brother {best friend} and I.


This man is one of the most important people in my life and one of my heroes. He's my dad.


My brother, the groom. Could he look any happier?!?


Beautiful. I love this picture. Too bad Gemini (the horse) wasn't looking at the camera a little nicer.


A secret moment shared that they didn't know I captured until my brother saw my camera later that night. i think this is probably my favorite of the day. The love each other SO much and make each other so happy!


My new sister and I. I couldn't have done better if I had picked her for him myself.


A special daddy/daughter dance; he requested Butterfly Kisses for us to dance to. Have I told you how wonderful my dad is? I did? Ok. Carry on.


It was such a great day, beautiful weather, and the evening was perfect. The speeches left us in tears - especially my 10 year old nephew's but that is worthy of its own post.

This brief interlude

was brought to you on behalf of my brother's wedding. I will hopefully be able to post a "real" post tonight and maybe have time to share some pictures from the day. It was a fabulous weekend!

Our last "Family Day" as a family of 5

It was supposed to be in celebration of my birthday - a trip to the city nearish us with the 3 (at home) kids, DH and me. It started off ok - but ok as in the ok we had gotten used to over the past weeks or so. There was always a strained, quiet tension among us in the last few weeks of DD2 living with us.

We did make the best with what we had to work with but it always seemed more like work than "family time".

First stop. Booster Juice for a delish Triple Berry Smoothie. Bought for me by DD2 as my birthday present.


After a bit of shopping we were ALL starving and headed to the food court to please our multi-craving tummies.


These two got pieces of pizzas; look at that! It was bigger than their heads!

DH and I got Sukiaki Beef...mmm, it looks so delicious I wish it weren't a 2hour drive to get some (or that I had the ingredients for the sauce at home). I ate this meal everyday at lunch in my Senior year as I had my lunch break to get from one school to another for my one class.
DD2 got Subway {Eat Fresh}.

DS3's new drumsticks! He is starting drum lessons next Monday. He had wanted orange but this is as close as we could get. He has always been a drummer; it's in his blood. At 2 years old he grabbed hold of a couple forks and started clinking away on all of our water glasses, discovering the different noises and created himself a beat.

As coordinated as he is with drumsticks, chopsticks are still needing a little work...

ok, a LOT of work! At least he tries. Both of the younger kids try very hard to be able to eat with chopsticks just like mom and dad.

DD4 LOVES anything Asian; we have very good Asian friends (including the girl who is getting married next Saturday). Plus they were learning Japanese in school last year. DD4 came home from school the one day and said, "I think I'm turning Japanese."

To which my brain immediately began to spew that fabulous song from The Vapors