Parenting moments

Some of my best and worst moments of parenthood are those spent with a fevered, whimpering, sweaty, sobbing, achy child in my arms.

Best, not because I am some sadist who thrives on seeing my children bed-ridden and weak from some ailment. Best because there is a nurturing thread that becomes tied between the two once again...an umbilical replacement so to speak...

2 years, 5 years, 9 years, 13 years, 20 years...it doesn't matter the age...soft whispers in the throws of restless sleep and fevered dreams of "I'm glad you're here, mommy" moments... gentle strokes to their brow to ease them to sleep while dozy, glossy eyes look at you as though deep pools of love...

I, myself, remember the comfort, the safety, the security I felt as I lay with my fevered head on my father's lap as his strong calloused farmer hands would gently stroke my forehead or as he would gently lift me off the couch, carrying me to the comfort of my own bed...

Worst moments...helplessly holding back your child's hair as their little body wretches, wiping down their hot faces with a cool cloth as fever-induced dreams cause whimpers and tears, as aches and pains you can't take away escape their half conscious lips...soft lullabies sung, gentle music playing, gentle stories to lure sleep to come...frail giggles as you try to tell a joke just to bring some joy, however fleeting, to their little bodies...

Parenthood has been one of the greatest, heart-wrenching, exhausting, most rewarding, joyful moments of raw emotion of my life...  ups and downs, joys and heart breaks...it is my greatest joy...

Now, as I type this, watching my beautiful Jellybean's shallow, fevered breaths finally sleep after a trying weekend of sickness...I will close my computer, lay beside her, maybe close my own eyes and pray that when she wakes this sickness will have left her...