Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Humor between siblings

My brother and I have some of the funniest text conversations I have ever had, and most likely ever will have, with anyone and, for this reason, I am wanting to note one of these conversations mainly for my own nostalgia but, if you manage to get a chuckle out of my brother and I...that is a good thing too.

I get random, bizzare messages from him and they usually snowball between the two of us. Here is the most recent example; I would also like to point out that this particular scenerio began at 8:01 am: (S represents him and M will represent me)
M: Cliff? Cliff Claven is that you??
S: Ouch
M Maybe it's Sam...I can't see from here
S: Diane
M: Shudder
M: Carla?
S: Random space filler sitting at back table pretending to talk
M: Some creep hitting on Carla and ending up face down on bar, witty banter...laugh track resounds...
S: Random legs walking past the upstairs window
M: Cliff deciding he knows who it is and telling everyone the history of how shoes were invented
S: Sam trying to get blond to go home with him getting shut down so resorts to trying for Diane
M: Diane, feeling like sloppy seconds, runs out of bar crying hysterically about not being appreciated...blah blah....camera pans left....Carla is seeing grinning like cheshire cat...end scene
S: Credits roll
M: Everyone goes to bed because it is a school night
S: with a flashlight to read comic
M: with head completely under blankets so parents don't see light...
S: yet they knoew and you get a crappy school lunch in the morning as punishment
M: Klik with cod liver oil pills and a prune juice juicebox
S: If you squeeze them {the cod liver oil capsules...note added by me for clarification} over the fridge you don't taste it {this is what we used to do because our dad got us to have cod liver oil capsules daily}
M: So I have heard...just don't give dad a reason to look up and find evidence
S: Then stop beating up your brother
M: It was the one who shall remain unnamed...it wasn't me...enter Shaggy to sing his song
S: Could have beat me on the counter. Wasn't me. Chipped my tooth on the fridge...wasn't me
M: LOL...you are funny
     Look at the other sister...it wasn't me...I'd have never hit ya...it wasn't me...

This is just a sample of our dialogue from that day...this part began at 8:01 am and ended at 9:13 am...it continued until 3:02 pm and just got more random and more bizzare. BigDaddy thinks we are strange but...I am so glad I have a brother I can be silly with still even at the ages of thirthysomethingnolongerchildren years old....

Monday, January 21, 2013

Ramblings of a married single-mom

I heard you..."say what!", you all say... what kind of oxymoronical mumbo jumbo is this girl spewing...?  I know; I know...but it is true...this past week and almost every second week for the last 3 1/2 years (once 7 weeks in a row) I was and will continue to be a married single-mom...in that I am married but am singular in the parenting...my husband goes to the end of the earth...ok, you got me the end of our province...the top end...where internet is a concept and cell towers are tree tops...and communication is zilch...

Some people think it is difficult and, at first, it is...but we have gotten into a groove of sorts. Now I am "used" to his being gone but find that the biggest hinderance for the kids and I is I need to be cloned...studying, basketball games, drum lessons, work, cleaning, cooking meals...I need a clone...or a wife...Ha ha ha

Thankfully, our children are old enough to help with throwing a load of laundry in and folding it...it may not be folded the way I would do it but it is folded and they have helped and that, my friends, is what is important to us. They are not limited to helping out with laundry...that was just an example that was in the forefront of my brain given that I have a mini mount laundruvious in the midst of activation in my basement as I type.

Having a meal plan has helped - only a lot...and I do admit to the Tuesday work until 4 pm, basketball game until 5 pm, drum lessons at 6:30 pm McDonalds run for supper...I am not ashamed...there is no 'S' on my chest...weeks that BigDaddy is gone we tend to eat a lot of things like grilled cheese, tomato soup, toads-in-a-hole...

But do you know what has really helped...not expecting as much...I have lowered my expectations...If we go to bed at night and there is still a growling mess in the kitchen I have learned to be ok with that...it will be cleaned when we get home the next day or in the morning before school/work...

The biggest thing though is the kids and I work together...we will routinely have mini meetings to say "ok, this is what needs done and by when and how are we breaking this up?". We also make sure that we make time to just have snuggle time with each other. I know it is hard on my kids when their dad is gone...extra snuggle time eases that burden for them ever so slightly...

Anyway, these are simply the ramblings of a married single-mom for today...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Pat Dry

I love funny stories...and I know you do as well. I am breaking my silence with my regularly irregular post as of late (not much longer and I will be done school and things may get a little more regular around here) but I digress...You DO NOT want to miss reading this pre-teen antedote.

Last night Jellybean was getting ready for bed and was washing her face with her cleanser. I, in my bedroom, heard a strange slapping noise and poked my head out to explore the noise further. Much to the amusement of my ticklish funny bone, I saw Jellybean slapping her checks.

A strange look graced my face and I asked her with bewilderment why on earth she was not using the towel that hung upon the towel rack a mere two feet away. She quizically looked at me and replied, grabbing her jar of cleanser to show me, "Mom, it says right here to pat dry..."

Dear Lord, I have not laughed that hard in a long time; in fact, I fell to my knees, gasping for breath, struggling to finally spit out why I was laughing. When Jellybean heard why she responded herself in a way much similar to mine...

This is wedding story material...for certain.