Parenting moments

Some of my best and worst moments of parenthood are those spent with a fevered, whimpering, sweaty, sobbing, achy child in my arms.

Best, not because I am some sadist who thrives on seeing my children bed-ridden and weak from some ailment. Best because there is a nurturing thread that becomes tied between the two once again...an umbilical replacement so to speak...

2 years, 5 years, 9 years, 13 years, 20 years...it doesn't matter the age...soft whispers in the throws of restless sleep and fevered dreams of "I'm glad you're here, mommy" moments... gentle strokes to their brow to ease them to sleep while dozy, glossy eyes look at you as though deep pools of love...

I, myself, remember the comfort, the safety, the security I felt as I lay with my fevered head on my father's lap as his strong calloused farmer hands would gently stroke my forehead or as he would gently lift me off the couch, carrying me to the comfort of my own bed...

Worst moments...helplessly holding back your child's hair as their little body wretches, wiping down their hot faces with a cool cloth as fever-induced dreams cause whimpers and tears, as aches and pains you can't take away escape their half conscious lips...soft lullabies sung, gentle music playing, gentle stories to lure sleep to come...frail giggles as you try to tell a joke just to bring some joy, however fleeting, to their little bodies...

Parenthood has been one of the greatest, heart-wrenching, exhausting, most rewarding, joyful moments of raw emotion of my life...  ups and downs, joys and heart breaks...it is my greatest joy...

Now, as I type this, watching my beautiful Jellybean's shallow, fevered breaths finally sleep after a trying weekend of sickness...I will close my computer, lay beside her, maybe close my own eyes and pray that when she wakes this sickness will have left her...

The Stork Cometh

Oh yes, the stork is coming and he is bringing us a gift! We are going to be grandparents again! Our son, Tuff and his girlfriend, K are expecting and their due date...a week before my birthday... :D

My heart is singing to meet this new little person!!!

Ramblings of a married single-mom

I heard you..."say what!", you all say... what kind of oxymoronical mumbo jumbo is this girl spewing...?  I know; I know...but it is true...this past week and almost every second week for the last 3 1/2 years (once 7 weeks in a row) I was and will continue to be a married single-mom...in that I am married but am singular in the parenting...my husband goes to the end of the earth...ok, you got me, the end of our province...the top end...where internet is a concept and cell towers are tree tops...and communication is zilch...

Some people think it is difficult and, at first, it is...not having that extra set of hands but who am I kidding, he is never home even when he is here (he is, after all, an incredibly "important" person) and i  have gotten into a groove of sorts. Now I am "used" to his being gone (I enjoy the break) but find that the biggest hindrance for the kids and I is I need to be cloned...studying, basketball games, drum lessons, work, cleaning, cooking meals...I need a clone.....Ha ha ha

Thankfully, my children are old enough to help with throwing a load of laundry in and folding it...it may not be folded the way I would do it but it is folded and they have helped and that, my friends, is what is important to me. They are not limited to helping out with laundry...that was just an example that was in the forefront of my brain given that I have a mini mount laundruvious in the midst of activation in my basement as I type.

Having a meal plan has helped - only a lot...and I do admit to the Tuesday work until 4 pm, basketball game until 5 pm, drum lessons at 6:30 pm McDonalds run for supper...I am not ashamed...there is no 'S' on my chest...weeks that B.D. is gone we tend to eat a lot of things like grilled cheese, tomato soup, toads-in-a-hole...

But do you know what has really helped...not expecting as much...I have lowered my expectations...If we go to bed at night and there is still a growling mess in the kitchen I have learned to be ok with that...it will be cleaned when we get home the next day or in the morning before school/work...

The biggest thing though is the kids and I work together...we will routinely have mini meetings to say "ok, this is what needs done and by when and how are we breaking this up?". We also make sure that we make time to just have snuggle time with each other. I know it is hard on my kids when their dad is gone...extra snuggle time eases that burden for them ever so slightly...

Anyway, these are simply the ramblings of a married single-mom for today...

Pat Dry

I love funny stories...and I know you do as well. I am breaking my silence with my regularly irregular post as of late (not much longer and I will be done school and things may get a little more regular around here) but I digress...You DO NOT want to miss reading this pre-teen antedote.

Last night Jellybean was getting ready for bed and was washing her face with her cleanser. I, in my bedroom, heard a strange slapping noise and poked my head out to explore the noise further. Much to the amusement of my ticklish funny bone, I saw Jellybean slapping her checks.

A strange look graced my face and I asked her with bewilderment why on earth she was not using the towel that hung upon the towel rack a mere two feet away. She quizically looked at me and replied, grabbing her jar of cleanser to show me, "Mom, it says right here to pat dry..."

Dear Lord, I have not laughed that hard in a long time; in fact, I fell to my knees, gasping for breath, struggling to finally spit out why I was laughing. When Jellybean heard why she responded herself in a way much similar to mine...

This is wedding story material...for certain.

Train Whistles Blowing Create a Long, Lonely Sound

I have, over time and circumstances, allowed wedges to be driven between me and my children. I have had expectations put on me and if I don't meet them, I find myself in the midst of hours long lectures and drug into meeting after meeting at "the church" to modify my behaviour. Being continually beat down like that caused me to put up walls with everyone, including my kids, and I held them close but at just enough of a distance that they weren't pulled in as close as they could have been. (I'm just being transparent here). As a mom, there have been hurts and I think I just shoved them down and smiled like all was well...all while holding my children close enough that they knew how much I love them but not close enough that I could be hurt by them to the most possible depths. (not entirely logical is it?)

I know I need to soften those walls. I need my babies as much as they need me...I'm just completely afraid of facing the rejection again...

Tonight, I lay down on the top of Bug's blankets as he struggled to sleep and began to rub his forehead. The instant I began to rub his forehead, I began to sing some of the songs my children loved to hear when I would tuck them in. I cried as I struggled to remember the words to one of those songs, as I thought of lost moments...

The thing with revelation is you have a choice...stay where you have been or move to where you should be. I choose to move to where I should be...to lessen the gap that I have put between my children and I.

Do you know how I started?

"Train whistles blowing
Make a sleepy noise
Underneath their blankets,
Go all the girls and boys
Rocking, roling, riding
Out along the bay
All bound for morning town
Many miles away
Somewhere there is sunshine
Somewhere there is day
Somewhere there's a morning town
Many miles away
Jellybean's at the engine
Rush rings the bell
Bug swings the lantern
To show that all is well
Somewhere there is sunshine
Somewhere there is day
Somewhere there's a morning town
Many miles away"

We made the song ours by inserting our names...and tonight, I made it ours again...somewhere there is sunshine and I found that place the moment I let the son shine on that darkness and fill it with transcendent light!

Lesson Learned

So, Monday afternoon I looked into my 8 year old son's room and saw that my numerous requests for him to clean his room had not reached his ears. 

Lessons need to be learned and threats needed to have follow through.  While Bug was at school, this mama took a box of big, black garbage bags and cleaned his room her way. He may or may not be thrilled with what he begins to discover are no longer in his possession.

I think the lesson has been learned because the remaining toys have been picked up since AND...his bed has been made every morning before school...

And, side note, Jellybean has been making her bed each morning before school too...Lesson learned x 2!!!  Woo hoo!

Today's fond memory

brought to you in part by Scrabble and Pictionary...

My husband despises board games...loathes them even and so, it is an extremely rare event that we happen to play one as a family - very rare indeed.

As a child, I played Scrabble with my granny as often as I could. She would pull out her worn and well utilized Scrabble board, a worn down pencil (usually sharpened with a paring knife), a piece of looseleaf, neatly folded and a dictionary for challenges and we would play and laugh and snack. We both won. Granny with points and me, well, I won because I loved the time I was able to have spent with her, looking into her sparkling blue eyes full of love and mercy.

Fast forward several years to a life of children of my own and I think to some of the rare moments P.B., Jay and I convinced B.D. to play a rousing game of Pictionary with us.  The giggles, the tears from laughing so incredibly hard at our drawng or lack thereof and our guessing and lack thereof...

Simple acts. Great memories with my kiddos...

(This post is not endorsed by Scrabble nor Pictionary as they don't know me from Adam; these are simply the games my memories are associated with. That is all. GRIN)

Lockdown

Thursday evening I read about the school Rush attends being locked down on an on-line paper for our area. Some of you, unfortunately, know the meriad of thoughts that bombard your thought process and your rational thinking at that moment.

Why hadn't I heard from her yet? Were they still in lockdown? Had something gone disasterous? I had to "talk myself down" into a place of knowing, of rational thinking and take hold of those terrible thoughts penetrating my mind before they ran away with my logic. Someone would have contacted us somehow...

6 boys, not from her school, went there, brandishing items in threatening ways to induce fear...upon detaining them it was discovered most of these items were harmless. One boy, however, had a machete hidden on his person...a machete? Like for real? Rush has also heard that there was a gun, or guns, involved.

Our encounter of it is all hearsay or what the media shares, as, unbeknownst to us, Rush was not at the school that afternoon; she was, in fact, safely at her job, completely unaware herself of what was happening at her own school.

{Cue big sigh of relief}

For those new to reading or if you may have forgotten, Rush is my daughter who our relationship with was severed for a bit and who had left home.

She did not feel nor witness the fear, the chaos, the confusion...

So thankful...

Joy, joy, unspeakable joy...

My kids....




....that is all.

A glimpse of a world outside her own

2 months and 19 days before she turns 11, Jellybean has experienced something I wish no one ever had to experience...ever. It is a hard lesson and not something easily processed but Jellybean has experienced her first bout of racism.  There is no such thing as prejudice in this house; I am a bunch of different nationalities and races. Some of our best friends are, we have been told, different races. Yes, it has been pointed out to us. I see people for their heart, that is what matters and that is the attitude we have taught to and marinated our children in.

Today, Jellybean's heart broke because a young friend of hers as decided that Jellybean is no longer her friend because Jellybean is white.  She doesn't understand, and I know nobody does, the mindset of racism.

I explained to her that she is always to remain nice to this young lady, to offer a smile and to pray for her. I also told her that she does not want to be friends with someone who judges anyone based on skin color.

I am new at this and so, I am requesting your help, your advice...anything else I can tell her, anything else I can do when/if there are future events

The ladder, the bannock and the doorknob

Now I know you are dying to find out what those three things have in common on a day like today and in the same story no less so I will quit with the lollygagging and get on with it.

Today is my birthday. I know! I don't look a day over ssshmooshhmmmmttthirtymmumbleseven...fantastic! Because I am NOT a day over...well, that number. No I kid. I have no shame in my age. I have worked darn hard to get that number! :D

I tell you that to set the theme because Jellybean was in her room doing a few things and preparing for my birthday celebration that she had planned. Yep, just me and my two littlest kiddos today.

The door to Jellybean's room has, apparently, been sticking. This I did not know until AFTER today's kerfuffle. So, somehow, don't ask me how; her door got jammed shut, absolutely bonifiedly stuck! As in LOCKED. IN. HER. ROOM.  For over an hour my baby was stuck in her room while her babysitter and brother, downstairs, thought everything was cool.

She couldn't get their attention so she opened her window and finally got the attention of someone. Bug ran over to the neighbors to get a mom, who called some of our guy friends, two of them, to get Jellybean out.  In the mean time, she was a smidge hungry because what else do you do in times of being stuck but have the desire to eat bannock? {mmmm bannock} She was talking to a friend out the window who decided Jellybean needed bannock and through the, at the moment, screenless window, she threw some bannock up to Jellybean.  {I couldn't have made up this story if I had tried, people!}

The two men could NOT get Jellybean's door open so one went to get a ladder, climbed up and into Jellybean's room and blammo, she is now free and has no doorknob on her door.  But, she is able to go in and out of her bedroom at will. :D

Jellybean's biggest fear? That she would have to climb down the ladder.

The text I got from the babysitter? "I just want to let you know that Jellybean was in her room and door was stuck. Now she is safe."  This made no sense to me at work. In fact, I just sort of shrugged it off until I got home and managed to get the full story.  This is a definite Wedding Story, probably Grad story, first date story, fourteenth date story, tell-her-children story...interweb story...

Things I have learned today. You really can get locked in your room even if your door doesn't have a lock and Jellybean is afraid of ladders. Oh, AND the flower called Birds of Paradise is absolutely gorgeous! (I received a lovely bouquet from my friends at work today)

Seriously, People! No way I could make this up {grin}

Because I grew up on a farm that's why!

"Mom, why do you like to catch frogs like boys? Girls aren't supposed to like catchin' frogs..."

We had a lot of fun in the midst of watching/playing a soccer game the other day. We caught frogs and gave them Spanish names. I don't know why they had to be Spanish. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time...because it was funny and made the kids laugh.

Because summer is all about fun

BabyK at the local fair in their town...

Sounds of Summer

"I need more ammo now..."

Yes, in my house, and I am certain yours, in some form or another...

The ammo?

H2O...

The floor...?

Soaking wet with slippery footprints of children  running in and out with bottles, buckets, cups, & water guns to fill.

I love the laughter that floats on the words... "I need more ammo...", "he got me..."

At the car wash

My children were involved in a car wash about a month ago. {yes, I realize I am slow.  Do you realize it will be Oct before I get my first day of school pics up? I aim to be consistent - consistently behind seems to be the flow right now. grin}

I will let the pictures do the talking...

There were several children there helping but I only wanted to put pictures up here of if other people's children weren't facing the camera.

I Am

Canadian  Well, yes I am Canadian but what I meant to type was...

I am a ninja.  I know.  You all ready knew that.  It's pretty hard to keep something like that a secret.  Me and Clark Kent have bonded many times trying to figure out new ways to keep our identities secret.  Anywhoodles, here is how I became known as a ninja (I am a particular "brand" of ninja too).

Bug and his friends have gotten into a stage of life where all they want to do is play ninja.  Tonight, as I was tucking Bug in bed he said "Mom when I was opening my eyes, you looked like a ninja."  "Buddy," I said, "I am a ninja."  His eyes grew big as saucers and he said, "You are!?!!?"

"Yes, baby, I am.  I'm a mommy ninja."

"That's so cool, mom. I kinda thought so..." And off he went to sleep, knowing he was well protected by {insert cheesy super hero music here} Mommy Ninja...?  Mama Ninja...?  Ninja Mom...?  Ninjommy?

Not as Cool as I Used to be

A few weeks ago I took the kids to a mini carnival that was held in one of the mall parking lots.

They thought that was wonderful news!

They went on some rides...

We went on some rides...

They had a blast...

 I felt like puking and when we were finished came home, laid down and waited for the world to stop spinning...

Like I said, I am not as cool as I used to be.  However, I am still cool enough to suck it up, step up to the plate and take one for the team...

A prize

to whomever can tell me what this conversation was about...

"Heh! Look over there! Sponge Buddy Safety!"

"No! I saw it first!"

"Well, I said 'safety' first."

"Yeah, well there is no such thing as a 'sponge buddy'; it's a ..."

You fill in the blank.  And...as for your prize. Well, to be honest, I don't have anything worth while to post as a prize so...I will sing your praises because this is NOT an easy answer - unless your kids are anything like mine.  Then you should win hands down.

Game on!!!

"Who we fightin'?"

We took the kids to 7-11 last night to pick up some small slurpees.  While Bug and I waited in the car, he saw the cage filled with 20 lb propane tanks.

"Mama? Are those bombs?"

"No, honey, they are propane tanks."

"Tanks!?!  Who we fightin'!?"

"No, dear, tanks for the bbq."

"We have to fight the bbq?"

"No..ah, never mind..."

"I'd like to make a report"

That is how Jellybean began her conversation with the manager of the restaurant we took B.D. to on Father's Day.

She went to the washroom and, at some point, I began to think she had been gone just a bit too long and went looking for her, wondering if she was feeling all right.

I found her standing at the doorway into another part of the restaurant searching for someone.

"What't the matter, baby?  You doin' ok?"

"Yes, mama but, I saw some swears on the bathroom stall wall and I have to make a report."

"To the manager?"

"Yes!"

"Do you know who you're looking for, honey?"

"Yes.  There she is. I have to make my report now, Mom."

So, I let her go off to speak with the manager to file her "report".

We asked her how it went once she got back to the table.

"Good. I told them there were swears on the wall and the manager, she said she would get it painted."

And she carried on eating her dinner like it was no big deal...