Friday, June 8, 2012

Train Whistles Blowing Create a Long, Lonely Sound

Mon, Tues and Wed I was in a ladies conference and I live today a completely different person...a completely different mom.

Roots of bitterness were exposed in my life in areas that I never fathomed even existed. My kids. I know your perception of me just took a nose-dive and is plummeting to its death at a rapid speed. I don't mean I was resentful of my kids and having to care for them...

I have, over time and circumstances, allowed wedges to be driven between me and my children. I held them close but at just enough of a distance that they weren't pulled in as close as they could have been. (I'm just being transparent here). As a mom, there have been hurts and I think I just shoved them down and smiled like all was well...all while holding my children close enough that they knew how much I love them but not close enough that I could be hurt by them to the most possible depths. (not entirely logical is it?)

That is until this week where that tap root of biterness was ripped to shreds and destroyed through the life transforming words of God spoken by a spitfire of a lady who I have loved and admired for many years now.

Tonight, I lay down on the top of Bug's blankets as he struggled to sleep and began to rub his forehead. The instant I began to rub his forehead, I began to sing some of the songs my children loved to hear when I would tuck them in. I cried as I struggled to remember the words to one of those songs, as I thought of lost moments...

The thing with revelation is you have a choice...stay where you have been or move to where you should be. I choose to move to where I should be...to lessen the gap that I have put between my children and I.

Do you know how I started?

"Train whistles blowing
Make a sleepy noise
Underneath their blankets,
Go all the girls and boys
Rocking, roling, riding
Out along the bay
All bound for morning town
Many miles away
Somewhere there is sunshine
Somewhere there is day
Somewhere there's a morning town
Many miles away
Jellybean's at the engine
Rush rings the bell
Bug swings the lantern
To show that all is well
Somewhere there is sunshine
Somewhere there is day
Somewhere there's a morning town
Many miles away"

We made the song ours by inserting our names...and tonight, I made it ours again...somewhere there is sunshine and I found that place the moment I let the son shine on that darkness and fill it with transcendent light!

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