Monday, November 30, 2009


Ok, well that's a little harsh of you to say to me. You didn't? That was me? Well, fine then. Let's carry on.

I've been pretty quiet here lately, I know. Can you feel my shame via internet waves? Well, can you?

Let me show you why. (and I've included pictures. How nice of me, huh?)

Let me begin with Part One of the Blogging Slacker Chronicles

Can you guess what happened here? Bonus points if you can tell me what she should have been doing.

I am never usually one to point fingers, especially at one who can't point back (as is the case), but one of us was supposed to be folding her laundry and one of us somehow got her finger stuck in the hole where the handle used to be and the other one of us had to call our dad to come from his house to our house to help "unstuck" the one who stuck oneself because the other one was quite unsuccessful at "unstucking" the first. Ahem.

I am sure you are sitting on the edge of your seat to know what happened. Ok, here it goes. We got her out. The end. Rivoting, isn't it? Ok, there was a bit more to it than that.

Somehow, we still don't understand how, her finger mysteriously jumped into this hole while the rest of her body was folding laundry. (Don't you HATE it when that happens? I know I do!)
We're in the process of getting that guy from unsolved mysteries to get this sorted out for us.

Here's what happened next:
I assessed the situation. (First Aid training comes in very handy - Grin)

The little tug I gave at her hand sent screams into the heavenlies producing tremors measuring at least a 6.5 on the Richter scale.

Olive Oil!

No, I didn't leave her to go toss some pasta; I poured olive oil onto her finger to try to grease that puppy up. Nada.

Can I admit to you that this is where I began to be a little concerned that I may have to drive my daughter to Emerg with this HUGE tub stuck on her hand like some celebrity's (24 hour) engagement ring? I know I like to do things big but, um, not exactly what I had in mind.

I did what every girl does when they are in a crisis situation. I called my dad. (Have I told you that he is my hero? I haven't? Are you sure? Because I am pretty sure I must have mentioned that at some point.)

Over the phone my dad thought I should just be able to cut the plastic but, I don't have any strange kinds of saws handy at my house.

Just when I thought all was lost and I was going to have to take her to Emerg all done up like Madam Bijou (to have all my friends laugh at my family - have I mentioned that my family, mainly my brother and Rush may as well have been getting frequent flyer miles from the Emerg? No? Perhaps another time.) Dad decided he would drive over.

With our calm, soothing voices on, we settled the trapped animal Jellybean who was beginning to froth at the mouth like a rabid dog (Disclaimer: some of this story may or may not have been grossly over-exaggerated - like, say, for instance, this sentence...)

Between my dad and I, mainly my dad, we wiggled, jiggled, pulled and manipulated her finger out of the bucket. She then cried in Pa's safe, strong arms (I know; I have been there myself.) until she felt all better and vowed to never put her finger in the hole again.

As soon as she figures out how it got there in the first place.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I Promise, We Didn't Raise Her This Way {wink}

As I sit here, with the laptop on my, well, lap, I am watching Jellybean play boxing on Wii Sports.  Let me invite you into the monologue I am getting.

Oh!  Yeah! You want a piece of me?  You want a piece of the birthday girl?

C'mon!  How do you like that? And that? How 'bout that?

Huh? Is that making you hungry?

You wanna knuckle samich?

Huh?  You hungry?  I can give it to ya!

You likin' that?

I'm not even breakin' a sweat here!  You're probably tellin' your friends I'm a pro.  Heh, bro!  Take it!

You can't take down the birthday girl!

I'm all over this thang!  Oh yeah, that's right.  Take that!  Gettin' beat by a girl!


and that's a knockout!


Who taught this girl to talk smack?  Oh wait...Perhaps I should be callin' by lawyer on this one; I don't want to incriminate myself...

Hard to believe

but nine years ago, I met her

(sorry for the poor quality - it's a picture of a picture.  I don't have a scanner)
This is Rush holding Jellybean (with her strawberry blond hair)

Jellybean enoying the bouncy yard toy my dad had in his backyard.

She has turned into such a fun-loving, kind-hearted, honorable, young lady with so much integrity, love, compassion and joy.

Reading along and taking notes at church - listening to Pastor Steve Gray from KC, MO

Me & my girl - my beautiful, precious girl.

Oh, Jellybean, the love I have for you is uncontainable; the things I hope for you indescribable. You are the sunshine in the darkest of nights, the finish line at the end of a tremendous journey.  You, my sweet Jellybean, are the beat in my heart (of course so are your brothers and sisters). 

Who would have known when you were born that we would wonder if we would ever hear your voice? Finally at age 4 1/2 you were talking.  You never let that get in your way.  You are determined and tenacious in a most wonderful way and you never let the system dictate to you that you would not make it.  Each grade you proved to them that you could, would and DID pass!  You have shown me how to never give up and to never allow situations to dictate the outcome.  I am SO proud of you, babygirl - so very proud!

I love your hugs, snuggles and when you pray for me - your passion shines through. You are Daddy's Uggie, Unlce Wayne's Huggy Uggie and my Jellybean and we LOVE you!

Happy 9th Birthday, darling!  I hope your day is absolutely, wonderfully, amazingly great!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Inside the front door of one of the complexes...garbaged materials pulled from the building pre-renos.

About 1% of the junk pulled out of one room in one of the complexes.

A before and after shot (keep in mind that the before side is still after weeks of work).

They work well into the night to get these homes done and to create a nicer neighborhood for some pretty great people.

Splish Splash...we were playing in the bath...

It's Done...(and then I go off on a little huge rabbit trail)

I honestly didn't think I was going to make it without falling to the floor mid-word and begin snoring. I have had a lot of late nights.  Last week wouldn't have been so busy had I not been asked (and agreed) to help a friend help plan his wife's (my friend as well) 40th birthday party.

There was lots of texting back and forth and trying to make her think that he wasn't doing anything and then there was the fact that it got "dumped" on me to plan a little get-together for her after worship practice.  I should have said no to that one; it just caught me so off guard that "yes" just fell out of my mouth.

I think I have to try to limit what I do when BigB is gone.  That was the bulk of my stress right there.  I was doing the jobs of two people at our house and had extra work.  But I made it.  I did have a wonderful snooze right after the party (which absolutely surprised her - the party not the snooze) and felt way better.

You just want to be able to make these things perfect for people and I tend to get carried away.  The pictures of our church project are done; I may go take a few more today.  It is an always changing project.  You see, our church bought a group of townhouses that was THE roughest part of town and are remodeling the townhouses and cleaning up the area.  We have all ready had people come into the bay to say thank you and that they finally feel safe living across the alley from these places.  It's nice to see.

I did not get any pictures of these places when the project first started as I wasn't part of the media team yet but I can tell you that it was disgusting walking in them.  It was like walking into an indoor garbage dump - the trash (dirty diapers, rotting food, etc) was piled knee deep in a few of the townhouses.  Walls were grafittied, punched in, smeared with poop and rotten in most spots.  The guys that are working on them are my heroes! Most days the guys that are working and/or living there currently have their doors knocked on and are being asked for numerous different kinds of drugs. 

This project is the majority of why I (& our church) are so busy right now.  It is a labor of love and now time is of the essence - cold weather is coming and things have deadlines of yesterday. We want to help bring a new light and mindset to our city; it could be so beautiful - right now it is dark and oppressed.  We have been canvassing the businesses of the city to help us and we will be having a banquet in their honor of Wednesday.  It is a very exciting (but busy) time for all of us. 

I'll probably post a few pictures of the places right now and there is all ready a HUGE difference!

We like to be shaken from out of our comfort zones. 

Friday, November 20, 2009

This is your captain speaking

"We hope that you have enjoyed flying with AirAng.  We hope you have enjoyed your flight. Please buckle your seatbelts.  We may experience some turbulance as we land, and if it gets too much, put your head between your knees and kiss your butt goodbye."

Last night, I needed Calgon to take me away.  Or the Energizer bunny to come to my rescue.  I have so much work right now that I could probably handle three of me - not one of me while also dealing with BigB having been gone ALL this week.

I have tried to remain calm, tried to.  Right now I feel like a duck on water - calm and serene on top but, please, if you don't mind, please don't peak under the water to see how fast and frantic my feet are going under the water. I am about to kiss my butt goodbye.

→I have been going through things in our house, and getting rid of lots.  Yesterday I took 4 large bags of junk to the trash can as well as a ratty, old wicker trunk.  I am not pleased to say there is still more to go through as that is all ready a lot of crap.  I am in the process of moving our room down to Rush's old room and Jellybean up to our present one. 
→My friend is turning 40 tomorrow.  Her husband has been getting me to plan and prepare for her surprise party. 
→Our worship team is now having a "party' for her tomorrow too.  I have now been asked to get that together as well, as the original girl has to work that day and can't come.
→I had bought a bunch of hamburger in order to make some lasagnas to freeze and I NEED to get that done.  Pronto!
→ Today is Child Tax Day here in Canada.  That means that people are going to be going nuts in the store - they will be lined up past the tills, down the aisles, most like half to 3/4s of the way down the store.  At least I am only there until 1:00.

It could be very quiet here this week. So much for my questions post.  It will come - maybe.

I have been going on adrenaline all this week; I think it has run its course. I probably resemble one of those crash test dummies, flailing around, almost about ready for impact.

Being a mom is a real juggling act, isn't it? And I am going through a real trying revamping phase here.  It's all stemming from my monumental drepression after Rush left.  I let everything pile up around me while I wallowed in self-pity that she wasn't going to fulfill the promise she made me when she was 5 years old of always going to live with me forever - her, her husband, her kids, her dogs, cats, horses and her gorilla.  I am getting back on track - it's just an awful lot of work.

So, tell me.  What kind of routine do you have in your day?  How do you keep it all together? What are your efficiency secrets and your tips to getting back on top of Mount Overwhelmous and back into the Land of Peace and Ease?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm a little late

getting this up but, here are the pictures of Bug with his orange cast.

Orange partially for Stellan, Mckmama's youngest son who has fought his whole life with SVT until an incredibly successful ablation very recently!  His other reason for chosing orange is that it is ONE of his favorite colors - ONE vacillates between orange and blue.

(waiting for the orthopedic sugeon to assess the damages)

(here it is, bright, unsigned and... water proof!  Yeah baby, gone are the days of bread bags tied around your cast. Bug can even go swimming with this baby on - if he doesn't plan on staying in the pool for hours on end.)

(getting his cast signed by the "ladies")

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hot and Healthy through the Holidays 3

Another week done, huh? Wow! I definitely did not have any cheesecake this week.  Whew! Although, after having the rocky road cheesecake last week, it was rather tempting.

We ate lots of salad this week and I made a couple lasagnas - one to freeze and one to eat. I made sure to sneak some extra veggies in the sauce too so I added some grated carrots and zucchini. I also snuck in some ground flax but I won't tell if you won't.  How do you boost your meals?

Exercise this week was not as good as last week as I was in a conference most of the time.  I did, however, get a lot of cardio ust by singing on the worship team each night for the conference - there was a LOT of umping and dancing and praising going on!

Off now to take some pictures of a project our church is working on to help clean up our city.  I have been made a photographer in training for the media dept (big grin!)

Monday, November 16, 2009


That's right! Freedom! 
I am feeling like such a HUGE burden has been lifted from off of me!  For the last 3 months I have walked around like in a daze, functioning but not feeling, existing but not living, and it. is. gone!

This is the first time, since Rush left 3 months ago that I have felt a true joy  (other than when I was in the midst of a church service).  We have just concluded a conference at our church that was sparked (pun intended) by the Burn Confernece at Kansas City, Mo's World Revival Church In fact, if you go there and watch the "Lose your intimidation and fear" video, you will see me - in the purple shirt).

Anyway, I digress.  Our senior Pastor just went down to KC, Mo for their Burn Conference and upon coming back, wanted to carry on with what he had experienced.  This weekend we had our Burn Too (or Burn Two, depending on who you talk to) Conference and it was life. changing!

People's lives were impacted and transformed instantly, including mine.  That grief that had clutched on to me had been ripped off of me and I can not explain to you how different and free I feel!

Some of the things that I learned and that impacted me are listed below:
→ Church should be a place where you can EXPLODE in the power of God and not a place of poverty where you need/crave sympathy.
→ when you come into the tangible presence of God there will be a strength and an empowering.
→ God downloaded into me the scripture of 2 Tim 1: 6 (For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.)

I have been fanning the wrong flame!  I have been dwelling on all the things I must have done wrong, all the things I should have, would have, could have done differently, and how Rush leaving was somehow all my fault.  You know what, I have done enough wrong in my life that I have actually done that I don't need to take on someone else's problems, mistakes, wrong-doings, whatever you want to call them.  Can you believe that I have even let myself think that if I had just made more cookies, more puffed wheat squares things wouldn't have come to this.  Silly, heh?  Because puffed wheat squares are going to change her attitude.

Now, I am not saying that I will never have days where I don't miss my daughter and I am not saddened by her leaving but, I am saying that the grief is no longer controlling me!  It will no longer run me! It will no longer hold me in bondage, sitting on my couch, lifelessly scrolling through websites without really looking at them just because the life and joy that was once inside me was gone!

It's ba-ack! The joy that is.  Woo hoo!

Fan the right flames in your life.  Don't fan those negative thoughts, those ill-will feelings towards others for little things they have done, or not done, or those thoughts that come into your mind that have no merit - just like me thinking puffed wheat cake could have kept Rush here. Just like a tiny ember being fanned into a full fledged, roaring fire, you dwelling on those things will consume you and it will eventually leave you as a pile of ashes waiting to be swept away and thrown in the trash - useless.

I am chosing to fan only those things that are good and pure and right, only those things that are godly and righteous and that will give honor to the God that I love, honor and adore - my noble King!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It Came! It Came!

This got a little lost in all the kerfuffle of Bug's broken arm adventure(as they both arrived the same day) but, that is all behind us now that his arm is safely encased in an orange cast (he picked partially in honor of Mr. Stellan and partially because it is one of his favorite colors).

I won this from Myra.  She has a great blog and is a whole lot of fun; you should really check her out.  Right now, until Nov 17, she has another fresh giveaway going on.  Check out the previous link to her blog to find that particular post!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Today I worked and it was incredibly powerful to see, at 11:00 this morning, all the people stop in a moment of silence to honor those who have fought, who have fallen, who have lived to relive, who have given of themselves and who currently continue to do so, right now, this very instant, now.

Soldiers, past, present, future, we honor you.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This Just In

I just got back from our appointments with Radiology, the doctor and the Cast Technician, Boris.

(yesterday after picking Bug up from my friend's house after work - pre doctor)
Bug has definitely broken his arm - his radius to be precise.  Apparently the bone is at a 5 to 10 degree elevation from where it should be and we need to go to the Cast Clinic on Thursday to see the Orthopedic Surgeon to see if "manipulation" of the bone is required.

(Waiting at the walk-in clinic yesterday with his pink panther)
He will be casted then.  For now, he has a brace on the arm and a sling to keep it stable.

(Trying to figure out the best way to support his arm during the night. This attempt was a fail.)

(Apparently, this way was the most comfortable for the little man.)

(The temporary "fix" until we see the surgeon to rule out the need for surgery on Thursday morning.)

Hot and Helathy - Week 2

So, last week wasn't too bad.  I did have one night that was, well, a "splurge night" let's say.  BigB and I went out for supper and we happened to need, ahem, to share a spinach dip and I happened to need to eat a tuscan stromboli and then we went to a local coffee shop where we were just going to get a drink but then BigB saw the coconut cream pie, which he had to have! This lead me to falling short and eating a half a piece of rocky road cheesecake. 

I would like to state, for the record and for my own pride, that I only ate half the piece of cheesecake and then shared the remainder with my chidren the next day.  Now THAT takes will power.

I have been doing a half hour of wii fit each day, except for Friday, and on Saturday I did a half hour of ab work using Turbo Jam. Which totals up to 3 1/2 hours of exercise for the week.  Yay me!

This week my goal is to keep more of an eye on what I am eating, starting a food journal and all that jazz.

I was craving the crunchy food when my family had movie night and chips/dip.  What curbed my craving was chowing down on some Honeycombs.  It gave me that "crunch" that I wanted while tricking myself into thinking I could be eating chips.  (Not the healthiest but I think a not bad substitute)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Just waiting

That's what we've done this afternoon and what we will continue to do tonight. 

Poor Bug was pushed at school.  Not pushed on purpose.  Well, it was on purpose but not with the intentions to hurt him.  He and his school chums were playing tag. He was running; they were running and, unfortunately, he was tagged.  This resulted in him having a terrible crash into the school building.

I spoke with his teacher while we were waiting at the minor emergency clinic and she said that Bug seemed ok, ust a bit sad about his scratch (on his arm). When I picked him up from my friend's house, he was well on his way to being in shock and he could not move his arm at all - fingers were ok, arm no.

When we got in to see the doctor, which happened to be our "second", a doctor I prefer to see when our family doctor is unavailable, he seemed quite positive that Bug has a fracture or something called green stick.  We headed up to Radiology on the other side of town but did not get there in time for Bug to be seen.

Now, we wait for tomorrow morning to get his x-ray and are under orders to "keep his arm still".  Under other circumstances, i would wonder how on earth I could do that {other than wit the help of duct tape - grin} but, poor Mr. Bug honestly can not move his arm. is, thus far, pretty easy to keep his arm still. a scale of one to ten

this smiley faced boy (taken last Sunday) is at a 10.

Tomorrow morning we will see if he is need of a cast or what is going on with his poor little arm.

Friday, November 6, 2009


shirt and this picture drove me over the edge about getting serious about getting fit and healthy and losing me some weight. It is not as bad as the shirt makes it appear but, come on, people, I look like I am about to give birth to a baby and not that my baby is the seriously cute little boy with the faux hawk beside me!

As I was perusing the pictures on my hard drive, immediately after taking the picture last month, I took the shirt off and put it in my bag of "to give away".

I am thinking of adding that picture to my refrigerator door beside this one...

5 years post first child (the first picture is 6 years post last child).  I was about 105 pounds here and, according to my husband, too skinny however, I am not looking to replicate this picture.  Maybe, perhaps, I could get just a bit closer than I am...

So...? Let's do this!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

You may question the witness

So, I just noticed that I am nearing 100 posts on this blog. Wow! All ready, huh?

I have seen others do this and thought, if there was enough interest, I would do the same so, without further ado...

Let's play get to know me. If you have a question for me, about anything, feel free to ask and I just may do a blog post about it (or at the very least email you the answer back, should I perhaps chicken out)

So, let's do this. Fire off your questions to me in an email to

You never know, it could be fun...

(How's that for being able to bounce back? Like I said in the comments of my previous post, most of the time, as soon as I write out what I am feeling, it is a release and I feel loads better. Prayer helps to! :D )

"Of course I like you; it's because I like you that I can't be with you"

I watched "Finding Nemo" with my family, last night, for the first time since Rush decided to leave us; the night before she decided to grace BigB & I with a "final" good memory.  She figured that the 3 of us would watch "Finding Nemo" together.  It was a great night.  I was totally duped by it.  I thought things were going ok.

Last night I spent most of the movie crying - it just made me think of Rush and how she had the entire movie memorized and how certain parts just reminded me of what we have been enduring - watching your child being pulled away from you until you just can't see anything of them anymore, wanting so desperately to bring them back to you but having no idea how to start, feeling lost, empty and panicked.

I know that it is natural to have grieving moments but I really never imagined that Pixar would be the cause of one of those moments. It took me back to the good times we had with her where she would do something silly and respond with 'yes, I'm a natural blue' or spout off some other of her numerous "Nemo" quotes and it took me back to that last "good time" with her that I was so ignorant of, and back to discovering her gone and her goodbye letter to us that quoted Marlin when he was convincing Dory to leave him, that he wanted to be alone and she was upset: 'Of course I like you; it's because I like you that I can't be with you'.

I guess I don't get it. I guess I don't want to get it.

She doesn't want to be with us but at Thanksgiving she asked to come home.  We, instead went to see her and she was a jerk to us, acting like she was perturbed we were even there.  We left disheartened and heart broken.  Four days later she emailed me, telling me she is taking time off work at Christmas and wants to know if she can come visit. Why on earth would she want to be with us when she can't even treat us nicely? 

Can I be honest? We don't want her here after the way we were treated at Thanksgiving.  We don't want that attitude brought into our house and making the kids that live here feel unwanted in their own home. I do want to spend time with her.

So...maybe I do get it.  Her quote that is.  I love her and I do want to be with her but I don't love who she has become.  Make sense?  And maybe if  we show her tough love...?

I will quit rambling.  Sorry.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Healthy through the Holidays. Why?

That's the question, right?  Why am I doing this?  To be honest - or why bother right? - I need to get into better shape.  I need to exercise more and eat better.  I do try, just not hard enough.  As soon as I hit a difficult (as in hectic) time in our busy household I cave and my best friend becomes the fast food joint down the street and my couch becomes my close second.

→  I am hoping that this will kick start some weight loss for me, although I realize that weight loss is not the focus; I am hoping it will be an added bonus.
→ I attend a very busy church that is constantly getting busier and I need the strength and energy to do the things that I choose to be involved in.
→ I am on the worship team at our church and what good will I be if I am wheezing, puffing and crying for oxygen after the second song.  We have quite energetic worship times and they are usually about a half hour or so (perhaps a bit longer even).
→ I want to be a good example to my children in ALL areas of their lives - that includes nutrition and fitness.

Why am I and why will I be airing this in blog-o-land?  I start big; I have grandiose ideas and intentions and then, {sound of deflating balloon} I fizzle out....ppppsssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.  I am hoping that the accountability and the support of some ladies will keep me on the straight and narrow and that my words or my situation or my ideas may, indeed, help someone else out. 

So, here we go! Let 'er buck!

Monday, November 2, 2009

It's "Dunna" be quiet

It will be quiet here for the next couple of days, at least.  Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to post a bit more; it is after all the initial healthy over the holidays post - so I had better be able to! {grin}

I am at a conference that began yesterday; yesterday and today are an hour and a half drive away from here and tomorrow is here.  So there has been a lot of driving and a lot of making and packing sandwiches for supper for the way there and snacks for the trip back.  Today I am without my driver as he has had to travel for work and we really got winter now - the roads are glare ice but I think with leaving a little ahead of schedule we should be ok with me driving, or I should be okay with me driving.

The speakers are Pastor Steve and Kathy Gray from Kansas City, Mo's World Revival Church. They are phenomenal speakers and have brought the word they preach to new light for many.  If you're interested you should really check out their website; I can pretty much guarantee you have not been to church like this before...check out the videos at the top, right hand corner of the screen on their site, if you'd like to see a's desperate, hungry, raw and intense.

Hope to see you soon!  Like tomorrow!  I miss stopping by your blogs and seeing what you are all doing.

P.S. So far uncle is doing all right.