You have a card for most situations. Today, I would like to thank you that you do NOT have a card suited to the situation we faced this weekend. At least, I really hope you don't. That would be sick!
Rush came to visit for the weekend. She arrived on the bus Friday night at 8:30, came to Manville to help out and, mainly to visit. We got home, visited and went to bed at midnight. When BigDaddy & I woke up Saturday morning, we were pretty certain Rush had snuck out of the house during the night (and come back in the wee hours of the morning).
Rush left our house, suddenly, at 5:30 this morning. We had our suspicions to keep an ear open while we slept Saturday night. 4:30 this morning something woke BigDaddy & I suddenly & completely from our sleep. BigDaddy went outside as he had set up a way to determine if Rush had left again. He then went downstairs to the room we had set up for her.
Much to our, somewhat, surprise, there in the room with her was a boy she had snuck in and was sleeping with. I can not begin to explain to you what my heart felt like at that moment. My husband's fist poised in the air ready to pummel this boy; the spirit of God coming over him as this boy trembled and shook in fear and him letting the boy go while "encouraging" him to get out of our house.
Rush decided, at that point, that she was leaving. We made her say goodbye to Jellybean and Bug as there was NO way she was leaving on them in the middle of the night again; we also made her say goodbye to her girlfriend she had asked to sleep over but made to sleep on the couch (while she slept on a queen sized air bed). As she came to say goodbye to me, I gathered the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I had made her, the puffed wheat cake I had wrapped up for her and the chocolate bar and vitamin water I bought for her bus ride home, told her I had made/bought these things for her and wanted her to have them. She set them down and cried in my arms while saying 'sorry'. (it was not a godly remorse but more of an embarrassed, sorry I got caught remorse.
I. am. devestated. heartbroken. lost. sure that God is still in control. hopeful. certain in Him.
*Disclaimer: I know I have tried approaching this with a bit of humor but, I have come to realize that if I allow this to consume me or haunt me it will destroy me.
My God is mighty and powerful and He can move ANY mountain! This mountain is not too big. God's arm is NOT too short to save!
But as I say this know that it doesn't mean that though I worshipped with all I had at church this morning, tears did not stream down my face. They did. As I prayed during corporate prayer that for a strength in our worship, for a worship that was powerful simply because God is worthy and not based on our feelings, emotions or moods, does not mean that the tears I was crying were not out of my fear and intense grief. They were.
Bad circumstances happen in the lives of Christians (not because God makes it so either) but the circumstances I face do not dictate the love nor the faith I have in my God. He is faithful, good and just, and I will praise Him through this storm because He is worthy and deserving.