The Birds and the Bees and The Pharmacy Tech?

*I origianally posted this on my "other blog", the one my whole family has access to, including Rush which is why I moved here - to sort through things a little more discreetly. Anyway, I posted it Jan 5, 2009 and given the bunch of fun mamas and some nurses I have drop by, I thought you would all enjoy a laugh. (I am going to be moving some of my posts from the other blog over here little by little - just to keep some special stories all together)

Are you ready? Let's begin...

Last night Jellybean came downstairs to tell me that she just heard that someone we know may be pregnant. This led to all sorts of frightening levels of conversation. She looked at me quite befuddled and quizically asked, "What does sex look like?"

PANIC raced through me!!!!!! Cra-ap!! Why did I correct her!? She would have been just fine thinking it was 'pregnant' at least for the next 15 years, right??? "What does sex look like?! What does it look like??!!!". I can hear that question pounding in my ears.

"Oh, honey, you don't need to worry about that right now. Mommy will explain it all to you when you are a little older. For now all you need to know is that it is something special between mommy's and daddy's."

LO-ONG, AWKWARD SILENCE......

"Mommy...? I think I know what sex looks like."

"Oh?", I whispered with my mind racing through all the things she could say so I could "plan" my response.

"Yeah. I think it looks like a vitamin."

I stifle a laugh."No, it isn't a vitamin but right now you are a bit too young to really understand what it is but, I promise, as soon as Mommy and Daddy think you are ready to understand I will talk to you and explain it. Okay?"

"Okay," she said, smiling sweetly at me as she bounded from my chair and out of my office.

"Whew!" I feel my lungs begin to exhale a huge sigh of relief and my heart rate slows to normal. I wiped the beads of sweat that had begun to form on my brow and began to wonder when WOULD she be ready? When would I?