Monday, January 31, 2011

Famous Last Words

A couple of days ago I told you all that I would explain why it is so very important to my family that we always tell each other we love the person we are speaking with. I told you that we learned you may live to regret what you say as last words to someone you love.

I was quite young when this story took place in our family so I will do my best to hold true to what happened give my recollection and the re-telling of it by others.  I will not be mentioning any names  or relationship to me because of the sensitivity of the story but these people are relations of mine.

Husband and wife were arguing. Wife told husband she 'hated him' and to 'drop dead' and she stormed out of the house.  When she came home, she found husband dead on the floor of the room she had left him.  He had had a heart attack right then and there...

Another story of someone I knew.  16 years old. Fighting with her mom. She stormed out of the house, having told her mom she hated her. Later that day, found her mom on the side of the road, having been killed by a drunk driver...

Be careful what you say.  Be careful what words come from your mouth in the heat of the moment that you just may live to regret for the rest of your life.

The wife from the first story... spent the rest of her life fighting alcoholism, depression, going in and out of mental institutions and, I can tell you, that I never, ever saw happiness in her eyes from that day forth.  She died having spent the rest of her life in agony and guilt over 4 horrible words she never meant in the first place.  I can tell you that because I used to love watching her as she would look at him, seeing the love in her eyes.

The 16 year old girl, in the second story, has never been able to find happiness either... in anything... She is now in her 40's and on her 3rd marriage. Searching but not knowing at all what she is looking for...

This is why we are slow to speak words spurred by anger. Yes, there are times when we still do wind up saying something we don't mean but we are quick to apologize and end the conversation with "I love you".  And I can never remember a time in my life when I have ever been able to tell someone "I hate them".  Those words can not be taken back... sometimes ever...

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