Monday, February 21, 2011

Dear Jonathon Crawford (aka probable scam artist extraordinaire)

Thank you for your kind email informing me of some mass fortune that some un-named, deceased person you say I am related to has in the vault. Thank you for your "willingness" to share this wealth with me. Your kindness and generosity leaves me completely speechless. Oh the list I have of all I could do with this mass wealth. I am overwhelmed that "good fortune" has put me at the "centre of your life". Your 40/40/20 split of this fortune however, underwhelms me. Dude, if I am the only relative (which leaves me to wonder what happened to the rest of my family and where their emails are) of this un-named deceased person whose wealth is about to be absorbed by the government I have a proposal for you... like more like 95/5... you know, for all your hard work hunting me down and all...

My dear Jonathon, I trust that you can sense the sarcasm dripping from each and every letter typed on this page and I trust that we are able to "establish a trustful collaboration". How about you send me your direct phone numbers and fax number and you can send me some absurd amount of money to get this inheritance into my scamming hands. Please affirm your willingness to collaborate on your little scam endeavor by sending me your photo in your pretty little pumpkin orange jumpsuit.... mmmmkay? Thanks and buhbye!

"Not buying into you"

original email sent to me:
Hi Xxxxxx,
Hope you are doing good?

I am Jonathan Crawford from England, a legal solicitor practicing in the field of; business disputes and litigation, Will and Estate disputes, inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975 applications. I am contacting you regarding my deceased client deposit in the sum of four million us dollars currently in storage at a deposit vault here in England. The deposit was made in the year 2005 and his unfortunate death transpired on August 8th 2007. After proper identification of his body, I immediately notified the deposit firm and launched an investigation into possible surviving family relatives to alert about the situation and receive the funds from the deposit firm. Till date, my search has proved abortive.

Sequel to the recent notice received from the deposit vault; failing to receive viable claims, they shall declare the deposit unserviceable and remit to the government reserve thus, the portfolio would be out of reach. I have contacted you in good faith as someone that I can confide in to help receive these funds, acting as a close relative of my deceased client. If this meets with your understanding, I shall prepare the necessary papers to this effect and also provide all necessary assistance till the funds are released. Be rest assured that there is no potential legal liabilities to this cliam. I have done a careful evaluation before contacting you. As a matter of principle, I am in no position to claim these funds, being the lawyer to the deceased hence; I need your assistance in this great endeavour.

Let's share this blessings together, as good fortune has placed you into the centre of relevance of my life. I hope we can be able to establish a trustful collaboration for this project. I have decided upon conclusion, we both get 40% each and 20% shall be utilised for charitable deeds. Please affirm your willingness to work with me and kindly provide your direct phone and fax numbers.

Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.


Jonathan Crawford

1 comment:

  1. I actually got "checks", in the mail (from Canada). They looked pretty darned real, but I knew they weren't. Cuz seriously, why would Publisher's Clearing House hire a Canadian company to "do" their dispersement, when the whole thing they are famous for is showing up on people's doorsteps. AND!!! you never have to pay taxes up front. They send you a 1099 and you file at the end of the year, just like any other winnings tax (or any other tax, for that matter) you many have to pay.

    The thing that gets me is that people really fall for this stuff. If ya only thought about it for like, oh, HALF a second, you'de realize it's total crap. (Like the part about where's the rest of your relatives? Yeah.)