I got an email from DD2 a couple days ago asking if she could come home (my word not hers) for a visit Thanksgiving weekend.
Um...duh, can you? And what shall we make? What do you want? Turkey? Mashed potatoes? Pie? I'll make what you want! I can't tell her that though; I don't want her to think that she can just come back whenever she wants and walk all over us. We still need to be her parents and have the same rules and not let her dictate to us how we live when she is here.
I am just so happy that she initiated a conversation and asked if she could come for the weekend! "So happy", by the way, being an incredible understatement! I have NO words to describe this feeling accurately or adequately.
So, here I sit on the chocolate colored leather furniture of the waiting area for parents of children in music lessons, listening to DD4's sweet voice floating down the hallway, asking her teacher questions from one side of the room, and from the other flows the rich, smooth jazz sounds from the studio's owner - such a contrast in knowledge and ability yet not in love nor appreciation. And as I sit, I hover. I feel like a humming bird - just hovering - excited, anioux & nervous to see my girl.
Do I hug her right away? If I do, I may not let her go. Do I allow the tears to fall, the tears that warm and sting my eyes now just thinking about it? Do I wait for her to come to me? I feel just as unsure of myself and of what to do as the first time I kissed a boy. Eyes open? Eyes shut? Which way do I tilt my head? Will our braces really get stuck? C'mon, y'all know what I am talking about. Don't pretend like you don't.
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest - feeling like that humming bird again.
I'm really glad that I live in Canada; I only need to wait until the weekend of Oct 10-12 to see her.
And, if I have 4 ripe bananas for her, she has offered to make us banana chocolate chip muffins like she learned in Cooking.
P.S. She got 81% on a History exam that a good deal of her classmates failed → she may make foolish decisions from time to time (you know, like leaving home) but she is a very smart cookie!
***This was written on a scrap piece of paper from my bag last night at music lessons for DD4 and DS3.