That's how I am feeling at the moment. I don't have long now (mere hours) to decide if I want to go to school (Bible Training Center) this year or not. I had started last year but quit after first semester to try to "deal" with the issues we had begun having with DD2. We have the money to do it. DH is going to be in second year so we would alternate weeks, meaning there will be someone with the kids (not a sitter) but a part of me feels not to, to get things straightened out at home, organized and such.
I love learning; I have to admit that I am a bit of a (newly realized) geeknerd. I have a passion for learning and I love writing essays. I know! Geeknerd! This all being said (and it is helping me to sort it out - as I type), I can do this when my children are older. I do not feel called to be anything that would require this education immediately. My not going would save us a small amount of money per month (money that could be put away to get ourselves a second car, eventually).
I think I may have settled the problem; tug o' war fight diverted. I choose to stay home with my kids for now. They are the most important thing and if there are classes that are REALLY important to me, I may just audit thos ones.
I feel good about this. Decision made. Up for review next Fall. Case (temporarily) closed...
Yep. There it is.
Correct decision made.