"Mommy?" came a soft sweet voice from the backseat of my car (which, by the way, is nearing 300,000 km on the odometer! Yikes!). "You 'fink' you will be 'prayngenant' soon?"
Yep, that came from my 6 year old DS3 yesterday on our way to pick up his sister from school. I didn't really know how to respond to him - you see I had 3 c-sections and my DH wanted me to get a tubal after DS3 was born; I agreed but always wished that I hadn't. I do want another baby - but do I want one because I truly want one or do I want one because I can't have one? I think I truly want another but, as I told DS3, that is totally up to God now.
I do get slightly jealous when people I know are pregnant and sad when people ask me, due to my slight excess poundage in the tummy area if I am pregnant. I feel those pangs of baby pain that are not supressed with being able to hold someone else's baby and giving it back.
But what's a girl to do? The factory has been shut down and it is all up to God. I know it has happened before so, if He wants me to have another baby, He is just going to have to open that factory up Himself (He can do it - my God can move mountains. What's a couple of tiny little clamps?)
Where DS3's thought process came from, I don't know. But I sure do love the way he said 'pregnant'; I just hope I spelled his way right. Prayngenant? Payengenant? Preynganant? I dunno.
What I do know is kids are pretty darn cute and one day I will get my butt in gear and get his Son vs Sun story on here.
A friend of mine agreed to her husband having a vasectomy after two children. She was feeling unsure about her decision, but never voiced it to her husband. After he had it done she cried every night about having made the wrong decision. She is Christian and is a praying person. Her husband offered to have it reversed after seeing what it was doing to her. She said no, and that she should have voiced her concern before he went through the original surgery. A couple of years later, she was PREGNANT!!!!!!! Apparently the doctor that performed the surgery on her husband wasn't as careful as he should have been because it didn't "take" like it should have and although slim, there is still a slight possibility that she will get pregnant again...which they are hoping for :)
ReplyDeleteMay God give you peace, no matter what the outcome...your son--what a cutie!
With love and hope,
Cheryl
Aww... As I am not a mother yet, I don't quite know these baby pangs, but I certainly understand baby fever [mine is in full throttle] and I can only imagine that the thought of not being able to have another child is so tough... especially when you love the ones you have so much! I'll keep you in my prayers. Maybe God will bring another little miracle to your home. :)
ReplyDeleteSarah had a baby after being barren her whole life. Of course God can open the factory!
ReplyDeleteIt must be a hard feeling knowing that "the factory is closed" and yet feeling unsure that that is what you want.
ReplyDeleteMy husband had a vasectomy after our third baby was born because there were complications during his birth and we were told that we could have lost him but also me too. Luckily Gareth is fine now but it gave us a terrible fright and we agreed that with three healthy children it was time to say thank you and be happy and content with our family of 5. At least we are both sure of that choice and have never looked back.
It must be really hard to feel the yearning for another baby if you are not in a situation where it is likely to happen.
Prayers cannot hurt!