Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Story of a Girl - The Prequel

The girl grew up on a farm and was living a wonderful childhood of frolicking in pastures, of horseback riding through meadows and streams, of making forts in the trees, of lying in a bed of straw with the calves, of going on leisurly strolls with her grandpa and of stealing veggies from her grandma's garden. Her family lived in the same yard as her grandparents where they had a mixed farm (grain and cattle), raised horses, grew fabulously large gardens and enoyed the tranquil innocence of the country air.

When she was 8 years old, her mother left for a month (after her affair with another man was brought to light). The girl found a letter her mother had written to the other man stating that she couldn't wait to join him in BC (where he had moved) as her children "wouldn't need me {her}; they will be graduating and leaving home soon". The 8 year old girl was the oldest of her siblings.

The mom came back and the young girl spent her days with her younger brother and sister keeping them busy in their bedroom at the back of the trailer, hoping that she could protect their ears from the fighting, all the while trying not to cry herself; she never let them see her cry (she felt she had to be their rock).

When the girl was 13 years old, she awoke to the screams of her 9 year old brother that the house was on fire. Only a shell remained. Most of their things were lost. A year later the girl's dad handed her a pink book that held all of the information and pictures of her first year of life; her dad rescued it from the dump where her mom had casually tossed it - in very good condition. He rescued three baby books that day, one representing each of his children.

At 14 the girl's best friend (her grandfather) died and she was heart-broken. That summer, she approached her dad between rows of potatoes, asking him if he thought "mom was at it again" because she, along with her brother and sister, had been taken to a man's house, a man that her mom was spending too much (awkwardly close) time with. That same summer, her mom left the house one last time, leaving behind her three children (who really didn't want to go with her anyway in light of what had happened).

At 15, the girl was a live-in babysitter for a lady whose husband came home drunk and intended to rape her. Luckily, the girl was able to divert his attention. Her luck (if I believed in luck) was not so good when her boyfriend brought her back to her place of employment and did rape her, hurting her badly enough that her employer had to rush the girl to the hospital. Afraid to file a report, the girl, her boss, the boyfriend and the hospital staff are the only ones to know.

In this story, the girl is the spitting image of her mother, physically, and it was incredibly hard on her father. The two, out of their shattered hearts, took to fighting with each other and, when the girl was 16, finally told her dad she had to leave. (This is where the girl feels a lot of guilt as now she knows what the dad endured first hand.)

The girl moved to the "big city' where her mom lived, as she felt she had no where to go. She did everything she could to avoid seeing her mother, which involved a lot of sneaking into bars, hanging out with bikers, house parties, and, occasionally, attending her senior year. Where she met a boy (well a particular boy) and she ended up pregnant, rejected by her entire family and moving into her boyfriend's parent's house. Feeling lost and alone, she felt pressured to marry him, which she did at 18 years of age.

Little did she know she was only beginning her journey of torment, of feeling alone, of feeling scared and hopeless, and at times fearful for the lives of her and her infant daughter.

To be continued...


  1. Wow, that is a horrible story - and I am guessing it is true (and about you)?

  2. This is such a sad story. I'm guessing it is yours. I feel like I have just watched the trailer of a film, I know how it ends and am just missing the middle.

  3. Thank you for your kind words everyone and, yes, it is about me...but don't worry, as bad as it gets, in the end God lifts me out of the pit...

  4. holy cow!!
    look what a strong woman you are now! God wastes nothing...He will use your pain to help others.
    what is it with moms who aren't the moms they should be?!?!?! really chaps my hide!!

  5. My heart aches for that girl. I can relate to this story in so many ways. Unlike you, I don't have the courage to post anything like this on my blog. It's my ugly little secret and as much as I shouldn't care about protecting the adults who violated me, I don't want them to have to answer to anyone but God. Oh, and they WILL answer to God.